I'm going to be honest, I don't know what I'm doing with this blog anymore. I feel so disconnected from it and the whole blogging world. I feel like I did right back at the start 4 years ago, like I'm talking to myself and it's got to the point where I'm thinking 'what's the point of this anymore'. This isn't completely to do with numbers and I know I shouldn't get wrapped up in it but my work on this little space has never paid off and after so long I've kind of got fed up of trying.
As I say it's not all to do with numbers it's to do with me as well. When I started this blog I was less than half a year into my university education and I had a tonne of time on my hands and seemingly a lot to blog about, even if those posts weren't that great! I'd love finding new blogs, reading other peoples posts and spent nearly every day doing something towards my own blog. When I left university and became unemployed for 5 months this blog was one of the only things that kept me going. I was producing new posts every couple of days and working really hard on everything to do with Calico Skies. This blog filled up my time and took my mind of just how much I hated the situation I was in. Despite those 5 months been the most unhappiest months I think I was the most pleased with my blog that I've ever been.
Fast forward a year and a half and I can honestly say that the latter half of 2013 was probably the last time I felt happy with this space. With blogging as a whole. I have no time, nothing interesting to write about and most of all the passion I once had for this hobby has completely gone. I don't want to continue talking to myself, I don't want to dislike looking at this space and feeling no connection to it what so ever but when I think about not doing this anymore it makes me feel sad. I've poured a lot of my life into this blog and I'm not sure I can let that go.
No one wants to read a whiny, moaning post, but I've written it and it's staying because it's how I honestly feel and if there is one thing I've also done on here it's speak my mind and be honest. I'm not saying this is the end of Calico Skies, it's just I don't know where I stand with blogging right now.